The other day my housemate, Jessie, and I were craving something sweet and wanted to get out of the house for a few hours. We went to Ragamuffin where I am pretty certain the owners are muffin magicians. Just a heads up: For those of you unlucky enough to never have tasted the deliciousness that is steam-baked soft centre muffins, get yo’ muffins down to Ragamuffin and enjoy. You’re welcome!
Just look at those muffins. So scrumptious.
However Jessie and I both sat down with our muffins, looked to the table next to us and immediately claimed what we like to call #ragamuffinregret. Partly because since converting to the darkside of twitter everything in life is now undeniably hashtaggable, and partly because though we were happy with our muffins – the ones we didn’t have now looked just that little more delicious. But, truth be told no matter what we had ordered, as soon as someone else had something, we wanted it.
Regret is a horrible thing. Should have’s and what if’s can haunt you. And yes, there are things in life that deserve deep consideration. Relationships are a perfect example with some of my biggest regrets coming from thinking I should have done things differently or said things I didn’t. So yes, those decisions are worth my time (though many of my friends would argue not the amount of time I give them). Thing is though we learn about ourselves from mistakes and with every screw up, we learn what not to do next time – it’s called trial and error learning.
Babies are wonderful at it! When we are little we learn about the world through interacting with it and making mistakes. We screw things up, learn and move on. But somehow as we get older we start blaming and shaming ourselves for decisions we make, decisions which most of the time are made with good intentions…and really, you can only make a choice with the information you hold at any given time.
Life realisation #1: You are not a fortune teller!
Truth be told no matter how many variables you attempt to consider – life is unpredictable, it’s messy, and just because you make one decision doesn’t mean that your choice is not vulnerable to the choices of others. The problem is we believe that if we make a wrong decision it is our fault, we should have known better, or given it more time. Somewhere in the history of decision making we decided that we are mathemagicians who should have perfectly calculated every possible consequence and damaged controlled to evade the apparent Armageddon our decision dawned! Resulting in a reaction somewhat like this…
Shame on us for blaming ourselves! And shame on me for thinking I hold some omnipotent control over the universe by power of my decision making skills. And yes, I note the irony of blaming myself for blaming myself – but just go with me here.
Some decisions are big. Some choices are life changing. Some consequences hurt. Some are our fault and others we have no control over. But choosing a muffin flavour…. not all that significant!
Life realisation #2: Time allows perspective
Every day we make thousands of decisions and the process is an interesting one. We weigh up all the possibilities resulting in a single final choice. Consciously choosing to gain something, and consciously losing other things. Despite how certain we may be, when we make a decision we are immediately confronted with all the possible consequences to what we just locked in.
The simple trick is to just give it a little time. Now I’m not one to believe ‘time heals everything’, but I do believe that time provides a perspective that the present cannot. Decisions always seem super important the second you make them. But it takes a while for positive reinforcers of big decisions to show or for you to realise how small decisions really held no significance to… well…anything. The fact I got a Lamington muffin and not Pashmore (fyi: Pashmore is heaven in muffin form) really only means that I have now tried one more delicious flavour.
So next time you suffer from #ragamuffinregret remember this: there will always be muffins, eat them, enjoy them, and really – should your muffin regret consume your every thought – just buy yourself another muffin!
If you are in the Sydney area, seriously do yourself a favour and head to Ragamuffin, 157 Norton St, Leichhardt. My muffin pick is either Strawberry Milkshake or Pashmore, Jess’ pick is Blueberry Cheesecake…they make a pretty delish coffee too!